Discussing the biological control of pests with someone who is into the nitty-gritties of the pesky critters, made me wonder if ‘pests’ of the human species could also be deterred from their tiresome ‘whatever-it-is-that-makes-them pests’ in the same manner. Spraying with chemicals is a definite no-no, so what method that could be used effectively was an interesting exercise for Java and yours truly – for a while.
I guess ‘pests’ of the human species could be defined as those that annoy and irritate to the point that the ‘host’ wishes they would either disappear or drop dead. At times the verbal or vibrational signals only serve to increase the ‘annoyance’ or ‘irritant’ factors until the only way out is to change the environment by leaving the particular setting – even though one may wish to remain. So how to work it out in order to have the pests leave instead of the ‘host’ is the crux of the problem.
Java was of the view that extrapolating the ‘fruit fly / pheromone’ method (discussed in an earlier post) would work. I was intrigued by the suggestion, but the problem of ‘how’ remained. The fruit flies were programmed by their genetic code and their instincts to mate overrode all other aspects of their makeup and presumably their tiny brains were unable to cope with their dilemma, resulting in being trapped until fatigue and starvation put paid to their existence. The human pest, though, would be much more sophisticated in that they had that deducing ability that at most times would enable them to figure out the ‘escape route’ and return to bug the host.
We’re still of the view that the problem could be solved, but put it away until some inspirational idea hits the spot. However, if you feel that this is a worthwhile exercise to ponder on and come up with some bright idea to solve the problem, please feel free to offer solutions and just maybe someone will come up with something effective to help many of us out of this occasional dilemma that I’m sure lots of us experience at some time or the other.
Any ideas?
Ephemeral Ruminations 
22 comments
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August 19, 2007 at 8:18 am
Darwin
You could always spray the guy with insecticide?:) Of course this is hardly ethical (and it’s not ‘biological’) but it’d still be quite effective I think.
What about a distraction? You could change the topic to focus the pest’s attention to someone else (hey look little catterpillar, there are much juicier leaves over there on THAT side of the wall why don’t you go chomp on that?).
August 19, 2007 at 8:59 am
javajones
Darwin – Chuckle! Trust you to come up with an effective solution, although, as you pointed out, not ‘biological’ (and imagine carting around a can of insecticide in your handbag?!).
‘Distraction’? Assuming he/she (hey how come you assigned the pest status to a guy???) is pretty focussed and sus enough to figure out your plan, then what?
August 19, 2007 at 9:05 am
R
The best way to get rid of real pests is to call an exterminator. The theory behind this would be to let someone else who is experienced in these sort of things do the dirty work.
Human pests can also be controlled in the same manner. Most likely your ‘pest’ will have someone they despise or loathe. Seek their company; you won’t be disappointed. 🙂
August 19, 2007 at 12:04 pm
javajones
R – The thing is there may not be the time for checking out the likes and dislikes of a random pest in a given situation. We need a solution to cover all situations at any given time.
For instance, if Darwin was sitting happily at Barefoot sipping a drink and listening to RD play his drum solo and some obnoxious entity became the pest….
August 20, 2007 at 8:03 am
drac
C’mon JJ, old chap. There are no universal solutions. Or actually, if there are – it’s like throwing yourself in front of a chainsaw to get a haircut. Yes, your hair will be shorter at the end of the experience; but the sideeffects will likely be dire.
Ignoring pests doesn’t work? I refer to an online sense mostly – but if you refuse to give trolls any sort of audience, they generally tend to drift away and find easier prey. Trolls gotta survive too, you know. Just like fruit flies gotta eat and if you drive them away from your garden, they’re going to latch onto someone else.
The trick is to deprive them of what they want, in my limited experience 🙂
August 20, 2007 at 9:22 am
javajones
Ah ha, Drac ol buddy – deprive them of what they want huh? And if it’s YOU they want, and you prefer to be where you are (as in the analogy about Darwin and RD) and not piss off because he/she is bugging you, then what?
Sure, trolls would be easier to deal with – outta sight, outta mind kinda number – but what of the more tangible and persistent type?
And the fruit flies were not driven away from my garden, they were suckered into a trap and got rid of that way.
Any more ideas?
August 20, 2007 at 11:47 am
RD
Just for the record I deny everything.
August 20, 2007 at 11:55 am
javajones
Hey maan – you were on drums, remember?
August 20, 2007 at 12:01 pm
javajones
Hey Drac – you got Java interested in that chainsaw analogy. Want to elaborate? May just come up with something!
August 20, 2007 at 12:57 pm
drac
Well, I argued via analogy against the one size fits all solution =) For fruit flies, luring into a trap and killing them is pest control. For humans, it’s homicide. For humans, sending a verbal pissoffgram is unpleasant but usually effective. For fruit flies, it’s grounds for insanity.
Anyone can be rude and obnoxious as a troll deterrent. It would work. Basically, behaving like Lily Allen, but not having as many friends on MySpace. It would also have the unintended consequence of making the person rather unpleasant to everyone else too.
Probably not worth it – unless misanthropy is your thing.
If RD wasn’t drumming loudly enough to drown out all conversation in the room, then he has been misrepresenting himself on his blog, I reckon.
August 20, 2007 at 1:37 pm
javajones
Drac – “For fruit flies, luring into a trap and killing them is pest control”
Fruit flies aren’t killed in the trap – they just die, not being able to find their way out!!! Extending that to the ‘human’element – if he/she were to ‘trap themselves’, would that be considered homicide? (I know this is getting a tad ridic, but what the hell!)
“Anyone can be rude and obnoxious as a troll deterrent”
I thought being rude and obnoxious would be playing into the hands of the troll. No?
“It would also have the unintended consequence of making the person rather unpleasant to everyone else too.”
Not if it was ‘species specific’.
No man – what we’re searching for is a specific solution for each individual type of pest and then narrowing it down to a kind of ‘unified field’ – or some solution that would have a common element in achieving the end.
I’m sure there’s a way!
Seriously!!!
August 20, 2007 at 1:41 pm
Janus
Try moving the cookies..
You know.. When ants keep surrounding the place where you keep your cookies, just move em, and it takes them little buggers longer to find em.
So try keeping yourself from places where the pests know to find you, or if they find you anyway, move your cookie elsewhere. Quick.
August 20, 2007 at 2:29 pm
RD
Darwin – Come back and help me out here! The story is: we never met, nothing happened, all I did was drum.
August 20, 2007 at 2:43 pm
javajones
Janus – but what if you don’t want to move?
You have to find a way to get rid of the pest without IT getting rid of YOU (‘as in moving the cookies’).
August 20, 2007 at 2:47 pm
javajones
RD – wishful thinking! And I’ll desist from saying any more – what with the current state of affairs and this being ‘the first day’ and all huh?
August 20, 2007 at 11:44 pm
N
I would suggest mace…but I think this conversation has become too convoluted for sucha simple solution!
August 21, 2007 at 9:21 am
javajones
N-aren ‘t dose chemicals what Darwin suggested earlier? Ain’t allowed maan.
August 22, 2007 at 3:55 am
N
well to be fair Darwin mentioned pesticides…which aren’t packaged in as handily sprayable containers as is mace (or is it mase?)….you can’t get it in SL? Really? Can get a bloody T-56 but can’t get mace…sigh..
August 22, 2007 at 5:40 am
javajones
N – sure we have cans of spray for mosquitos and other pestiferous critters (how long have you been away???). Not sure about Mace, though – not enough of those ‘in yo face’ rapists and other types of maniacs over here (yet) to have it considered a necessity, I guess.
Hey, speaking of T56s – maybe a fake one that looks like the real thing could help??? Or even a smaller ‘piece’ tucked somewhere that could be slowly brought into play, depending on the conditions prevailing?
Wonder what Drawin would think?
August 22, 2007 at 7:32 am
Darwin
It’s spelt Mace. No you can’t buy it in SL, and it’s illegal over here (but pepper spray is legal). There you go Java, a ‘biological’ alternative a mace – pepper spray!
I’d love to have a handly flame thrower or bazooka with me to use on the people that wind me up but I somehow don’t think I could actually even lift it. If you’ve seen the blurred pics I’ve post on my blog, you’d know that I’m tiny and I have the upper body strength of a kitten.
RD: No you weren’t a pest. I won’t spray you with pesticide (or mace). Relax:P
August 22, 2007 at 2:01 pm
N
Hehe….been away too long my friend…too long…
But back to the pesticides….baygon is generally not as pocketable as mace/pepper spray which are easily concealable was my drift:)
Having a piece pulled on people at inappropriate times, especially in a place like SL would me thinks just serve to complicate matters…don’t you think so?
August 22, 2007 at 2:15 pm
javajones
N – Maan yo gotta be discreet.
Imagine D sittin at Bareass Blvd. giving ear to RD’s drums (or tryin to concentrate on dem odder instruments) and dis pest make his/her play. D’s attempt at ignorin fails and she be gettin increasinly pissed off (know how she be, huh?). So she pull out her waterpistol (looking real, like) an lay it dere on da table (it be loaded wit dat pepper-spray)…..