Like Java said a few posts back, ‘it takes all fuckin types maan, but some types are more fuckin’ dan odders’ and then just yesterday I get this mail from a buddy about an article that exemplifies our statement – only in an even more literal sense. The headline read – ‘Bicycle Lover Busted’, and went on to describe the case of Scottish cycling enthusiast Robert Stewart, who, as the piece described, was placed on the Sex Offenders Register this week after he was caught making love to his bicycle by cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel, Ayr.

The report went on as follows: Mr Stewart pleaded guilty to committing a ‘sexual breach of the peace’, the Telegraph reported, after he failed to hear the maids knocking at his hotel room door as he pleasured his bike. They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down,” prosecutor Gail Davidson told the Court, “The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex..

The latest inanimate object sex case came three years after fellow Scottish registered sex offender (and self declared performance artist) Ross Watt was placed on probation after being caught having sex with a traffic cone in front of 20 Edinburgh teenagers. British sex criminal Karl Watkins was less fortunate in 1993 when he was jailed for 18 months after being spotted by children making love to an underpass.

See what we meant? And although we were referring to commenters on blogs, the observation cuts across the widest spectrum, as the Bicycle Links at the end of the mail I received indicated. Here’s a couple in case anyone out there wants to check them out – especially those who get turned on by aromas! (RAVE: the female bicycle seat sniffers association of N.O.: ‘What we do is meet at Tulane’s campus and then we watch for girls riding their bikes to class or dorms or the library or whatever. Once she dismounts the bike, we each take turns sniffing the seat . . .’) (snarfer; ‘sniffing, or putting your face on girls bicycle seats. Favored target is Chubby girls or girls with a yeast infection because of the strong aroma . . .’)

Like Java said, takes all fuckin types maan, but some types….

Okay, all right, we won’t rub it in