RD’s got his balls “on the line”, as he puts it and is waiting on anyone who is having even the slightest hint of a thought of getting that monkey with a hard-on off her back (I’m not entirely sure if his offer is open to men as well) to consult him on how to sort themselves out. It’s his “dream job” he says, and that process of “gradual withdrawal” from the loads of sex they had, has his head buzzing with the possibilities of helping them to slowly reduce the “amount they get over a period of time”.

Knowing RD probably slightly better than many of his readers on kottu I have to say here for all to see that he is (as he thinks of himself to be) “a kind and considerate chap, someone who wants to do his bit and to put others first”. No kidding – he really is! And if you know him as well as I do, you will also know that he is a primo sucker (no, not that kind) for a sob story, so that anyone in distress would probably be able to get him to rush to their assistance. What’s more, he is suave, rakishly handsome and most importantly, rich! Or maybe that isn’t the most important thing about him in relation to his dream job – and this is hearsay – but if he does put his “balls on the line” as he undoubtedly has, I’m told that those folk who get an eyeful will know what I mean.

So there it is – kottu’s first accredited Sex Addict Counselor – and judging from the recent increase in sexually oriented posts on kottu, not to mention the numbers of comments that are being generated, looks like the addicts are emerging to engage in their most favourite recreational activity.

Of course ‘sex addiction’ comes in many forms and addicts may not necessarily be addicted to the actions that RD has been fantasizing about. Straight-up sex, blow-jobs, eating out and the ‘usual stuff’ may be fine and dandy, but would RD help them out on rim-jobs, for instance? Or fist-fucking – if their trip is to perform, as opposed to being performed on? And how about Bestiality and other (what some less tolerant folk would term) ‘ deviant sex ’? And what’s more, the addicts themselves may not all be “these fabulously wealthy and glamorous women, many of whom would have plastic surgery to give them perfect looking bodies”, there will be others as well – and some of those may not be right up RD’s street – with all those Indian and other ethnic food joints, the flower shop and what-have-you that he loves so dearly.

Be that as it may, it’s RD’s decision – and who are we to carp about it. Maybe I don’t know him all that well and he really doesn’t mind sorting out the sex addicts of the ‘all and sundry’ variety – and so more power to him, being the non-discriminatory, kind and considerate chap he is.

And as for the more than few sex addicts Java and I know – we’ll be asking them to contact RD if they feel like kicking the habit.

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