‘Falling out’ is an interesting phenomenon, isn’t it? Folk ‘fall out’ of relationships that have sometimes endured for masses of time and in the process have accumulated all manner of attachments and emotions concerning the individuals involved. So usually, the ‘falling out’ brings with it a host of feelings that are, for the most part, ‘negative’ and that could include sorrow, anger, bewilderment, disgust and more. The very term ‘falling out’ connotes ‘pain’ – as in falling out of a moving vehicle or anything else for that matter, where the greater the ‘impact’, the greater the ‘pain’.

So what is it that causes years of closeness and intimacy to disintegrate into feelings that generate negative emotions? Obviously it is something that begins with disagreements that can not be easily resolved – and then the egos come into play. Values clash and words and actions provide grist for the mill churning out the effects that will gradually build the barriers that eventually halt any further progress of the relationship. And it is then that the degree of the ‘attachment’ results in the intensity of the effects on the individuals concerned. In other words, the stronger the ‘attachment’ or ‘bond’ that existed, the greater the mental anguish – whether it be sorrow, anger or frustration – or a combination of these and other states of mind that were caused by the relationship.

The ‘falling out’ phenomenon is not confined to individuals, but also extends to other human constructs like organizations, states and countries. And in these ‘relationships’ the effects are exponentially increased due the myriad complexities involved and often result in wars and other destructive actions. But that’s not what this post is about, so to get back to the crux of it, ‘falling out’ is more usually a bummer than not – for all those involved

But what is the remedy for the effects that fallout brings about? It is a kind of ‘radiation’ that results, analogous to that of nuclear ‘fallout’, the only difference is that it doesn’t contaminate with poison everything that comes in contact with either of the individuals concerned – or does it? Some fall-outs do, in fact, help contaminate some of those who are in contact with the individuals – contaminate through information concerning the other person involved. Whether the information is biased, true or completely false, it will have an effect, and that effect will in turn affect other relationships. So a ‘remedy’ will, in effect, have to result in minimizing or even eliminating the effects of the falling out.

Java says he’s working on it, although he seems to think that as long as ‘attachment’ prevails in the individuals concerned in a relationship that ends in them ‘falling out’, the effects this brings about will be inevitable.

How do you see it?