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This one’s for Darwin, who bakes knock-out cookies as a matter of course and who is the Baker Extraordinaire – at least for a lot of us folk who frequent kottu. It’s more Christmas fare – this time courtesy Kranzloid by e-mail – just so those of you who are into cookies (with a bit of Tequila on the side) can do your thing and feel good. The Jose Cuervo is essential, as just any old Tequila won’t do.

So here it is – just make sure you do it right:

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup or brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality.
Take a large bowl, and check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality,

Pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl

Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again.
At this point it’s best to make sure the Cuervo is still ok
Try another cup just in case

Turn off the mixerer thingy

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit
Pick the frigging fruit off the floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters just pry it loose with a drewscriver                 .
Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something – who geeves a sheet.
Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.

Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over
Don’t forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window

Finish the Cose Juervo

And make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher.

Cherry Mistmas!

Hic.. Darwin, is you t here?

December 2008
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Ephemeral Ruminations by Java Jones is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at

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