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My introduction to the Chitrasena world of Dance was when I was invited by the maestro to attend a performance of his latest creation (at the time), Kinkini Kolama. Having lived for several years abroad, I had no idea of the endemic dance forms of Sri Lanka except for what I had seen at the Kandy Perahera as a child. The production was simply stunning to me, with all the elements of theatre-artistry that included the surrealistic opening with a Kavi-kola Karaya accompanied by a dwarf and a stilt-walker and quickly went on to include some characters in traditional masks. The music was haunting, the lighting was near perfect and the choreography and dancing had me watching in awe. I had seen musical and dance theatrical productions in the USA and UK and so had a good idea of what quality productions were all about, so to say I was gob-smacked would have been an understatement.
Then there was Upeka, who played the lead and from the time she appeared, had me transfixed, not only by her beauty, but also by her acting and most of all by her grace and superb dancing. I was smitten by the sheer artistry of the creation that contained all the elements that dance-drama required, as well as an exhibition of all the endemic dance forms of the country in a seamless production of unremitting quality.
This experience was my introduction to Chitrasena, which developed into a relationship that soon included his family. In time I became a frequent visitor to his iconic home that also served as his School of Dance and as a result often watched the daily evening dance practice-sessions. As time passed, I was also involved in assisting in some of the pre-production work that included work on programs, sets and promotional elements. All this gave me ample opportunities to get to know Upeka and to see the extent of her dedication to her parents’ world of Dance. She was tireless in her application to what was required to achieve the finesse she displayed as a dancer and performer and, in spite of some of the setbacks that occurred, like the losing of the Chitrasena home and Dance School, she stood by her parents and, together with the other members of the family, helped with continuing the classes and rehearsals in a variety of rented spaces and at different locations.
Not long after Kinkini Kolama was produced, Upeka got married and had to balance marriage with her commitment to the Dance. This was especially difficult, as her husband was often away from home, occupied with his own career, first as a landscape consultant and later as the National Director and chief administrator of an International NGO. This meant him spending time setting up projects around the country and also visiting projects in Asia and Europe. Fortunately for both of them, he was not only supportive of Upeka’s dedication to her art but also assisted her in whatever way he could.
In time, as both Chitrasena and Vajira slowed down in their appearances on stage, the productions were centered around Upeka, who led the Dance Company in its tours to several countries, many of which she organized on her own, arranging rehearsals that were supervised by Vajira, with the final programs approved by Chitrasena. Financing these efforts was no easy task, but somehow, with assistance from those close to her, she managed. In this way, Upeka sustained the Dance Company and kept the Chitrasena/Vajira name and image alive both at home, as well as abroad. The reviews of the performances abroad describe the effect that she and the Company had on foreign audiences and knowledgeable critics. A comprehensive list of the productions and reviews, as well as those members of Royalty and dignitaries she performed for could be seen at the end of this post.
The prime consideration for Upeka, as she closed in on her career as the main dancer of the Dance Company, was passing the mantle to the next generation so that there would be a seamless continuation of the Sri Lankan Dance-Drama tradition conceived and realized by Chitrasena and Vajira. And to this end she was fortunate to have the next generation comprising of Heshma, (also a dancer, who decided to follow in the footsteps of her grandparents) for the creation of new work, choreography and direction, Thaji, who displayed ample promise as the main dancer to take over from her aunt Upeka and Umadanthi, (sister of Thaji) who danced, as well as was developing into a skilled administrator. Together, the three of them, assisted by Upeka and her sister Anjalika, took over the running of the Chitrasena Kalayathanaya so that the dance classes continued without abeyance. Both Chitrasena and Vajira oversaw the progress until the demise of the maestro and Vajira continues to teach and advise.
Upeka’s swansong was in the production of ‘Dancing for the Gods’ (Heshma’s second production with the Dance Company), in a mini-ballet depicting the legend of Kuveni, in 2011, her sixtieth year, after which she continued with her teaching classes and being a mentor to Thaji and other dancers of the Company. And now, in her twilight years, (she celebrates her 70th birthday on May 21st) she continues to stay in condition through daily workouts and spends much of her time in Kalayathanaya-related work.
Upeka was a brilliant exponent of what her parents conceived and produced, not only through her exquisite artistry as a dancer, but also as a faithful disciple of her parents. Long may she continue to inspire and be remembered for her excellence.
In her father’s words:
“My daughter Upeka has all the qualities and attributes of an exceptional dancer. Being a third-generation artist and having grown up with the dance she has naturally absorbed it in its widest sense. She is on par of her own amongst the younger generation of artists and is a typical product of the new generation, skillfully blending the traditional style with a more modern interpretation which she has developed into a style uniquely her own. Moreover, she has an extraordinary sense of drama and has proved herself a very dramatic artist as evidenced in her portrayals in KINKINI KOLAMA and DANCE OF SHIVA. She is also endowed with a keen intelligence and sensitivity which are invaluable assets for an artist”.
Chitrasena – 1986
HIGHLIGHTS OF UPEKA’S DANCE CAREER
| 1958 | First stage appearance in Vanaja (Children’s Ballet) |
| 1963 | First lead role as “Rankikili” (Children’s Ballet) |
| 1975 | Lead role in Ballets “Karadiya” and “Nala Damayanthi” |
| 1976 | Soloist for command performance for the Leaders of Non-Aligned Nations |
| 1978 | Lead role in Dance Drama “Kinkini Kolama” – created for her. |
| 1979 | Command performance for his Royal Highness Crown Prince Akihito of Japan |
| 1980 | Command performance for H.R.H. King Birendra of Nepal |
| 1981 | Command performance for Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and His Royal Highness Duke of Edinborough |
| 1981 | Solo performance for opening of Rupavahini Television network |
| 1981 | First solo performance Navodha Ranga |
| 1985 | Lead role in Ballet “Shiva Ranga” – created for her |
| 1990 – 92 | Soloist for opening of the Sarasaviya Film Awards |
| 1995 | Command performance for Her Excellency Khalida Zia, Prime Minister of Bangladesh |
| 1996 | Lead role in Ballet “Chandalika “- created for her |
| 1997 | Soloist with Jonathan Hollander’s Battery Dance Company of New York |
| 1998 | Special solo performance for Ustad Zakir Hussain |
| 1998 | Command performance of ‘Kinkini Kolama’ for Her Excellency Chandrika Bandaranaike Kumaratunga, President of Sri Lanka |
| 1999 | Guest appearance in the dance drama by differently abled youth ‘Flowers Will Always Bloom’, directed by Wolfgang Stange and Rohana Deva Perera, for by the Sunethra Bandaranaike Trust |
| 1999 | Invited by Madame Ariane Mnouchkine Director of the Theatre du Soleil, to perform at the ‘Theatre de la Tempete’and conduct a series of workshops at ARTA (l’Association de Recherche des Traditions de l’Acteur) |
| 2001 | Invited by Mdm. Arianne Mnouchkine to perform in the Festival de L’Imaginaire at the ‘Theatre du Soleil’ |
| 2001 | Tour of London as Guest Artiste in the dance drama by differently- abled youth ‘Flowers Will Always Bloom’ |
| 2002 | By special invitation – Delivered a lecture/demonstration at the “Performing Arts World Meeting – ECUM”, held in Belo Horizonte – Minas Gerais – Brazil |
| 2005 | Invited by Mdm. Arianne Mnouchkine to perform at ‘Theatre du Soleil’ in aid of Tsunami victims in March 2005 |
| 2005 | Performed ‘Palace of the Winds’ (27 performances) at the Montpellier Dance Festival in June 2005, comprising troupes from 5 countries of the Indian Ocean |
| 2007 | New Delhi – Invited by the Government of India to represent Sri Lanka at the SAARC Conference |
| Chennai – Invited to perform at the Music Academy of Chennai by the Academy as a ‘Tribute to Deshamanaya Chitrasena’ | |
| 2008 | Celebrated 50 years of Dance with “Guru Pooja” – a performance organized by the Chitrasena Dance Company as a tribute to her of this great achievement |
| 2009 | New Delhi – Invited by the Government of India, through its cultural representative, the Indian Council for Cultural Relations (ICCR) to represent Sri Lanka at the Delhi International Arts Festival (DIAF). As part of its program, the DIAF had invited select dance companies from Commonwealth countries to celebrate the upcoming 2010 Delhi Commonwealth Games |
| 2010 | New Delhi- Invited by the Indian Council for Cultural Relations to participate at the “International Cultural Festival” held on the sidelines of Commonwealth Games in New Delhi from the 3rd to the 14th of October |
| 2011 | New York – Invited by the Permanent Mission of the Democratic Socialist Republic of Sri Lanka to the United Nations to perform at the 63rd National Day Celebrations of Sri Lanka |
| 2011 | Final stage performance (In a mini ballet depicting the legend of Kuveni – “Dancing for the Gods”) |
TOURS WITH THE CHITRASENA DANCE COMPANY
| 1970 | West Germany | Hamburg, Heidleburg, Frankfurt, Freiburg, Baden Baden, Hannover, Dusseldorf, Munich, Stuttgart, Essen &Wuppertal | ||
| 1970 | Switzerland | St. Mortiz & St. Gallen | ||
| 1970 | Holland | Amsterdam, Arnhem, Tilberg & Heerlen | ||
| 1970 | France | Colmar | ||
| 1971 | England | London & Sadler’s Wells | ||
| 1971 | Malaysia | Kuala Lumpur | ||
| 1971 | Singapore | |||
| 1971 | Brunei | |||
| 1972 | West Germany | Frankfurt | ||
| 1972 | Denmark | Copenhagen | ||
| 1974 | Denmark | Copenhagen | ||
| 1994 | Bangladesh | Dhaka | ||
| 1995 | England | London – Sadler’s Wells & Birmingham | ||
| 1997 | Singapore | Asia Performing Arts Festival | ||
| 1997 | Japan | Tokyo, Takasaki, Gifu & Tokushima | ||
| 1998 | India | Chennai, Calcutta, Shanthiniketan, Delhi & Mumbai | ||
TOURS LEADING THE CHITRASENA DANCE COMPANY
| 1986 | England | London |
| 1987 | Dubai | |
| 1987 | Abu Dhabi | |
| 1989 | Geneva | |
| 1990 | India | Bombay, Madras, Bhopal, Trivandrum & New Delhi |
| 1994 | USA | New York, Washington & Michigan |
| 1994 | Turkey | |
| 1996 | USA | New York, Washington DC, Maryland, Massachusetts & Connecticut |
| 1998 | Malaysia | Kuala Lumpur – Guest appearance at the Commonwealth Games celebrations |
| 1998 | Hong Kong | Festival of Asian Arts |
| 1999 | France | Paris – Invited by Mdm. Arianne Mnouchkine of the Theatre du Soleil to perform at the ‘Theatre de la Tempete’ and conduct a series of workshops at the Cartoucherie |
| Performed at UNESCO, Paris, by invitation of the Sri Lankan Ambassador for France and Permanent Delegate to UNESCO | ||
| 2001 | France | Paris – Invited by Mdm. Arianne Mnouchkine to perform in the Festival de L’Imaginaire at the ‘Theatre du Soleil’ |
| 2003 | Taiwan (Taipei) | 2003 Asia Pacific Arts Forum – Sponsored by the National University of Taipei |
| 2005 | France (Paris) | Invited by Mdm. Arianne Mnouchkine to perform at ‘Theatre du Soleil’ in aid of Tsunami victims in March 2005 |
| 2005 | France | Performed ‘Palace of the Winds’, comprising troupes from 5 countries of the Indian Ocean (27 performances) at the Montpellier Dance Festival in June 2005 |
| 2007 | India | New Delhi – Invited by the Government of India to represent Sri Lanka at the SAARC Conference |
| Chennai – Invited to perform at the Music Academy of Chennai by the Academy as a ‘Tribute to Deshamanya Chitrasena’ | ||
| 2009 | India | New Delhi – Invited by the Government of India, through its cultural representative, the Indian Council for Cultural Relations (ICCR) to represent Sri Lanka at the Delhi International Arts Festival (DIAF). As part of its program, the DIAF had invited select dance companies from Commonwealth countries to celebrate the upcoming 2010 Delhi Commonwealth Games |
| Kerala – Invited to perform at the Karthika Thirunal Auditorium Kerala | ||
| 2010 | India | New Delhi- Invited by the Indian Council for Cultural Relations to participate at the “International Cultural Festival” held on the sidelines of Commonwealth Games in New Delhi from the 3rd to the 14th of October |
| 2011 | USA | New York – Invited by the Permanent Mission of the Democratic Socialist Republic of Sri Lanka to the United Nations to perform at the 63rd National Day Celebrations of Sri Lanka |
PERFORMED AS SOLOIST FOR COMMAND PERFORMANCES FOR THE FOLLOWING
| 1976 | Leaders of Non-Aligned Nations – Colombo |
| 1979 | His Royal Highness Crown Prince Akihito of Japan at the request of His Excellency J. R. Jayawardena, President of Sri Lanka |
| 1980 | His Royal Highness King Birendra of Nepal at the request of His Excellency J. R. Jayawardena, President of Sri Lanka |
| 1981 | Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and His Royal Highness Duke of Edinborough at the request of His Excellency J. R. Jayawardena, President of Sri Lanka |
| 1995 | Her Excellency Khalida Zia, Prime Minister of Bangladesh at the request of Her Excellency Chandrika Kumaratunga, President of Sri Lanka |
| 1997 | Her Excellency Chandrika Kumaratunga, President of Sri Lanka and Foreign Delegates on the occasion of Independence Day Celebrations |
| 2001 | Her Excellency Chandrika Kumaratunga, President of Sri Lanka and State Guests as Guest Artiste in the Dance Drama ‘Flowers will always bloom’ by differently-abled youth |
| 2003 | Her Excellency Chandrika Kumaratunga, President of Sri Lanka and State Guest Hon. Madanjeet Singh, President, South Asia Foundation |
MAIN SOLO PERFORMANCES FOR THE FOLLOWING
| 1981 | at Opening of Rupavahini TV Network |
| 1990 | at Opening of Sarasaviya Film Festival |
| 1991 | at Opening of Sarasaviya Film Festival |
| 1992 | at Opening of Sarasaviya Film Festival |
AWARDS
| 1995 | BUNKA Award for Special Achievement in Dancing from the Japan – Sri Lanka Friendship Cultural Fund |
| 2000 | SAARC Women’s Association Award for Excellence for Woman Achievers – For Cultural Achievement |
| 2002 | ZONTA Award for Woman of Achievement for Creative & Performing Arts |
| 2008 | RANGABHIMANEE Award for the Contribution & Welfare of the National Oriental Ballet. Awarded by the Department of Cultural Affairs & The National Dance, Oriental Ballet and Puppetry Panel of The Arts Council of Sri Lanka |
| 2009 | Visakha Vidyalaya Platinum Award for outstanding achievements in Performing Arts |
ANNUAL REPORT
A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 5,700 times in 2015. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 5 trips to carry that many people.
The busiest day of the year was February 11th with 55 views. The most popular post that day was The story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
These are the posts that got the most views in 2015. You can see all of the year’s most-viewed posts in your Site Stats.
- 1The story of Rindercella and her sugly isters3 COMMENTSJanuary 2009
- 2Cricket sledging classics16 COMMENTSOctober 2008
- 3Based on your sunsigns – your expected behaviour after you get drunk32 COMMENTSSeptember 2008
- 4Religion – the more positive aspects12 COMMENTSFebruary 2007
- 5Driving in Sri Lanka40 COMMENTSJanuary 2009
Some of your most popular posts were written before 2015. Your writing has staying power! Consider writing about those topics again.
Where did they come from?
That’s 110 countries in all!
Most visitors came from United Kingdom. The United States & Australia were not far behind.
Most visitors came from United Kingdom. The United States & Australia were not far behind.
The goings-on subsequent to the recent Presidential electoral victory by Maithripala Sirisena made Java think back a few years to a piece we posted that has now answered some of our observations with actions that hopefully will have the desired results for justice to be truly served. And so we decided to reproduce it after nearly six long years, so here goes:
April 22, 2008
Some of the recent developments in the political sphere beg explanations that are either impossible to provide to sane individuals, or would provide grist for the mill of a theatre of the absurd.
Take the Weerawansa / JVP development. Okay, so the guy was fired for playing on both sides as it were – being the pawn of the Rajapakses, whilst hypocritically doing his double-speak on political platforms. Wowie-zowie! How come Somawansa and his bunch of wishy-washy pseudo-commies whose party thrives on instability didn’t twig on to what was happening for all this time? I mean it’s not like this was a recent development and it doesn’t take a Nobel Prize winner not to see the forest for the trees, does it?
Then there’s that Cabral guy – Governor of the Central Bank, no less – who was up to his neck in that hokey pyramid scheme in his quest for gold and who reportedly halted the investigation that was on and had the CID guys who were unearthing embarrassing details, fired. He was on the BBC’s ‘Hardtalk’ a few days back and from all accounts, lied through his teeth, as well as paved more of the path towards getting us isolated by nations that have had a history of supporting us – if you get where I’m coming from.
And who can ignore the Mihin debacle? Here’s a flaky airline, running on what we are told are EPF funds, illegally acquired by the powers that be, provided by a hastily set-up bank with its head honcho being the father of the CEO of Mihin, and headed by the coterie of leeches who are sucking us dry. They couldn’t come up with payments for leasing the third-rate aircraft, or for the salaries of staff, or for all sorts of other dues, and finally the main man has resigned and Mihin, we are told is bankrupt. So what happens to the EPF funds that belong to many of us folk? Isn’t there some sort of criminal action involved here? Doesn’t anyone get charged for misappropriation of taxpayers’ money? Is the legal system alive here or are we all a bunch of somnambulistic lotus eaters Waiting for Godot?
And here’s the killer – the brother of the guy that resigned as CEO of Mihin has been appointed CEO of the national carrier! How about that?!!!
I won’t even go down that ‘Helping Hambantota’ path, as we all know where that leads!
You know as well as I do that there’s more of this really crazy shit that’s going down and taking the country (and us all) with it, but there’s just too many to enumerate. Psychotic Vermin comes to mind – running around like the rabid thug he is and doing what he pleases – never mind the law (what law?) – protection is guaranteed, so what the hell!
And so, although we are all aware of the shit that’s piling up around us, we keep on keepin’ on – most folk being patient because they are told that ‘we’ are winning the war and after that will come peace and prosperity. Right! So that excuses all the other illegal and detrimental to the country shit that’s going down? And where are the so called ‘patriots’ hiding???
You tell me
************************************************************************************
A follow-up to this was posted in August 2012 with a sense of despondency, now, thankfully with more hopeful anticipation. Take a look if you found the preceding post to be of any interest.
https://javajones.wordpress.com/2012/08/30/is-this-any-way-to-run-a-country-re-run/
The recent happenings here in Sri Lanka flashed Java back to a piece we posted nearly four years ago – https://javajones.wordpress.com/2011/03/23/the-karmic-force/ which, we like to think, was prophetic.
As we postulated in our opening to that post: ….about the Cosmic Law of Cause and Effect AKA Karma. The adage that ‘each and every action has an equal and opposite reaction’ is an accepted fact in the realm of Physical Science and Cosmologists through the ages have extrapolated this to apply to Cosmology. Religions also express this phenomenon in their own ways – ‘karma’ to the Hindus and Buddhists is Christianity’s “as you sow, so shall you reap”, or as Jesus is reported to have said, “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” – I guess he left out “or else”!
So whether one believes that karma is a ‘cosmic’ law (or not, as one commentator tirelessly strove to maintain), it certainly is interesting that ‘actions’ in general certainly do have consequences that frequently have equal and opposite reactions.
I’m almost certain that Mahinda Rajapakse, his brothers, and those that took advantage of their proximity to power to ‘make hay’ while the sun shone, could hardly have imagined the sudden, swift end to their perceived utopian existence. Can one even imagine the depths of their depression, not to mention paranoia at how the repercussions would possibly manifest in the days to come? It appears that the immediate family members have fled (with the possible exception of Chamal and Big Brother) and so too have some of the others who obviously feared the reactions to their various nefarious actions that included all manner of criminal deeds.
Some of those who are here, who were up to their proverbial eyeballs in scams, mayhem and even murder, and who were free from incarceration by virtue of their proximity to power, are now attempting to slink into the coalition they were abusing only a few days ago. What a pathetic bunch of hypocrites!
Aaanyyways, it sure will be interesting to watch how things pan out over the next few months and to see what karma has in store for all concerned.
As Java quipped, “everbody get what dey deserve, maaan”.
Blogging don’t come easy anymore for Java and yours truly – only one post for 2014, but surprisingly, we still have readers! So here’s an excerpt from WordPress’ report for 2014.
A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 6,800 times in 2014. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 6 trips to carry that many people.
The busiest day of the year was January 7th with 71 views. The most popular post that day was Cricket sledging classics.
Who knows, maybe the results of the election will catalyze another one of those streams of consciousness, so let’s hope for the best!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Some of you may have heard of the Sanjana / Groundviews initiative that began last year inviting writers to submit stories of 25 words or less with a view to publishing a book of ‘Hint Fiction’. A labour of love for Sanjana and Perera Hussein Books, the book was launched on the 24th of January. You could read all about the launch here: http://groundviews.org/2013/12/10/launch-of-short-sweet-an-anthology-of-very-short-stories-on-sri-lanka/
We couldn’t make it due to unavoidable circs, but heard it was a ‘full-house’, with readings from the book by the Floating Space Theatre Company and apparently a good time was had by all.
Anyway, Java was convinced that we could come up with something that may make the grade and after a bunch of nagging, I finally agreed. And so we dashed off a few of what we thought may be considered, and lo and behold, a couple of our submissions were actually picked! One of Java’s and one of mine!! And since we haven’t been much on the active side for yonkers, as far as blogging is concerned, we thought this would be a good way to get back in – even if the spark does fizzle out – for soo many reasons.
So here are some of what we came up with:
UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES
Sipping coffee at the Barefoot Cafe, she wondered if the corpse had been discovered. It wasn’t easy, but it was the best she could do.
AS A LAST RESORT
The soldier was kind to her – not like the others at the Camp. But she knew she had to make an example of him.
QUANDARY
It was a crazy night of ‘anything goes’. Now showered and shaved, with egg-hoppers and curry for breakfast, he wondered how to move the body.
A SPIRITED CHOICE ‘TO LET’
Preserved historical Walauwe with all amenities. Excellent location in quiet surroundings, away from temple loudspeakers. Ideal for spiritualists.
STORMY WEATHER
Psychedelic! The pelting rain on the windscreen reflecting kadé neon lights, making visibility impossible. Then, shattered glass and a bleeding child lay on his lap.
STING
“Eat shit, you fucking journalist pig”, he screamed, apoplectic, blood-vessels distended. She turned off the recorder, punching the air with clenched fist. “Yes!”, she exclaimed.
GLOBAL WARMING?
Filming whales underwater off Weligama, Dan wondered why they all dived simultaneously. “Oh shit! Couldn’t be global-warming?” he thought, as the Great-White swam into view.
YOU DUNNIT?
Administering sedative – easy. Getting her up there and placing the noose – trickier. The verdict – suicide. So why did the Colpetty Police want him?
VAMP
Kuveni was everything he desired. As he drifted off, he knew it was special. They found him, blood oozing from twin perforations on his neck.
If you want to know which of them was selected for publication and also read some interesting stories, get your copy of ‘Short & Sweet’ – now available at the Barefoot Bookshop, for one, and also on-line.
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 9,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 3 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.
My attention was drawn yesterday to this: https://javajones.wordpress.com/2008/04/22/is-this-any-way-to-run-a-country/ posted in 2008.
It is interesting looking back as very little seems to have changed in four years, so the rut we were in has only established itself more solidly. The only major change (other than the cosmetic ) in the general scheme of things is that the war is over, and although promises were made and expectations were sky-high in the aftermath of victory, the folk to really benefit have been the usual suspects who are now so well entrenched in their positions of power that nothing seems to phase them.
I guess ‘que sera sera’ is one way of looking at the situation…
Got this in the mail this morning. It’s so hilarious that we had to share it – just as it was received.
Enjoy!
Can you imagine a nun sitting at her desk grading these papers, all the while trying to keep a straight face and maintain her composure?
Pay special attention to the wording and spelling. If you know the bible even a little, you’ll find this hilarious! It comes from a catholic elementary school test.
Kids were asked questions about the old and new testaments. The following 25 statements about the bible were written by children. They have not been retouched or corrected. Incorrect spelling has been left in.
1. in the first book of the bible, guinessis. god got tired of creating the world so he took the sabbath off.
2. adam and eve were created from an apple tree. noah’s wife was joan of ark. noah built and ark and the animals came on in pears.
3. lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.
4. the jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals.
5. sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a jezebel like delilah.
6. samson slayed the philistines with the axe of the apostles.
7. moses led the jews to the red sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.
8. the egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. afterwards, moses went up to mount cyanide to get the ten commandments.
9. the first commandments was when eve told adam to eat the apple.
10. the seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
11. moses died before he ever reached canada then joshua led the hebrews in the battleof geritol.
12. the greatest miricle in the bible is when joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
13. david was a hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. he fought the finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.
14. solomon, one of davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
15. when mary heard she was the mother of jesus, she sang the magna carta.
16. when the three wise guys from the east side arrived they found jesus in the manager.
17. jesus was born because mary had an immaculate contraption.
18. st. john the blacksmith dumped water on his head.
19. jesus enunciated the golden rule, which says to do unto others before they do one to you. He also explained a man doth not live by sweat alone.
20. it was a miricle when jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
21. The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.
22. the epistels were the wives of the apostles.
23. one of the oppossums was st. matthew who was also a taximan.
24. st. paul cavorted to christianity, he preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marraige.
25. christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
We’re still laughing!
Some thoughts on the subject of ‘bisexuality’ arose from an exchange with a mate, which resulted from this link l sent him about what the article described as an “explosive new book”. In it were reports of numerous sexual encounters between Mick Jagger and a variety of partners that included David Bowie, Bette Midler and other well-known personalities. The link was sent to a few like-minded folk who are all into 60s and 70s rock ‘n roll and who would, no doubt, be interested in the goings on of our icons’ sexual exploits and other less known aspects of their lives.
The response I received from (let’s just call him) R, was that, as far as he was concerned, Jagger wasn’t gay and the reason he thought so was that if he was, at least one (if not more) of his partners would surely have, by now, sold the story for a reasonable amount of cash.
Most of us who are into the Stones are well aware of Jagger’s and Richards’ incredible body of work over the past fifty years, in addition to their exploits with mind-altering substances and sexual excapades, more recently described vividly in Keith Richards’ book ‘Life’. There have also been earlier reports of Jagger and Bowie ‘getting it on’, although these could best be described as rumours. In any event, neither Java nor yours truly were surprised or made any judgements on these actions, as our ‘morality-quotient-– (for those of you who may be interested) would display.
Anyway, getting back to R’s assumption that Jagger couldn’t possibly be gay – I had to respond that for one thing, being ‘bisexual’ is not the same thing as being ‘gay’, and as far as we were concerned, we couldn’t care less either way!
Another response from a fellow-recipient (call him S) of the same link had this to say – “I’m sure that Bowie and Jagger both had sex with who ever they wanted – why wouldn’t they, both ultra sexy animals – and they got to choose the best too. Lucky buggers!”
We tend to agree with the latter, and Java made the observation that bisexuals had the advantage of having no hangups with regard to the sex of their chosen partners, and as a result were free from the baggage of discrimination – both in terms of value-judgements, as well as in their choices.
And as S astutely observed, “lucky buggers”!
Ephemeral Ruminations 
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